Open Question: My home is worth 200K and all paid off.. I'd like to get a mortgage for 200K?

Are there any mortgage programs in my area (California) that will help me buy a new house and get away from my spouse?

Both of us on home loan currently. This is keeping me from prequalifying on another home loan. Rent in the area is as high or higher than current monthly mortgage payments in my range. I can afford it, but noone wants to loan me?

(She and I will eventually sell our house, but right now we can't just yet and I need another place to live stat!)

Open Question: My homeowners assoc. keeps sending me notices in the mail about me having weeds in my yard and the cracks in?

my driveway having grass in them... I pull my weeds as soon as possible and for the grass in my cracks??? what can I do( besides spending every day off pulling weeds) to get them off my back??? Im not retired and I do have to work!!! I heard if you tell your mortgage co. theyll do something for you? Is that true?

Open Question: Am I selfish.........?

Am I selfish to want to act my age?
I sometimes wish that I didn't have all these responsibilities... I don't have any kids, but I am taking care of my family. I work full time and go to school. But sometimes I just want to go away and get lost in a bunch of bad ideas.
I don't want sympathy because I hate pity.... But I feel so bad for wanting to just run away, in a sense, and get crazy and let go and just do something totaly crazy. Like run off to Vegas and not worry about bills, mortgage payments, no making ends meat and how the hell I will pay for books.....
Is that selfish?
why, do you think, can't I stop thinking this way?

Just wanted to add that I don't regret helping out and I don't resent my family, but I don't know why I am feeling this way.......